How to Deal with Tantrums

Prevention is better than cure!

The first step to avoiding a tantrum is to recognise the signs that you are about to have one. Here are some clues:

Getting Cranky

You may find yourself using unsuitable vocabulary for a mother of three whilst carrying out simple tasks, such as:

Scraping Sudocrem off the carpet
Folding a rigid toddler into a car seat
Searching through the crayon box for your eye-liner

Negative Physical Behaviour

You may notice a subtle increase in the force of your movements, for example:

Slamming rather than closing a kitchen cupboard
Slamming rather than closing the washing machine door
Throwing the baby-wipes across the airport toilets at 5am after being informed that your flight has been delayed another three hours but it's okay because they’re going to give you a free sandwich.

Irrational Demands

You may notice your requests becoming increasingly unrealistic, for example:

Asking your two-year-old to remove his wellies before getting into bed
Asking your partner to take the two o’clock feed
Telling the call centre employee that you can’t wait a week for an engineer to fix the washing machine door.

When you notice any of these signs, now is the time to act!

Distraction

Always have something on hand to remove your focus from the source of irritation – large bars of chocolate, signed photographs of Brad Pitt, that sort of thing.

Star Charts

Promise yourself that if you go another day without throwing a tantrum, you can ring out for a delivery chinese at the end of the week.

Oh dear, it’s too late – you’re having a tantrum…

You may not go in for the lying on the floor kicking and screaming variety, but in our experience, most mothers can produce a fair vertical equivalent. If you start to act up in such a way – be firm. You cannot let this behaviour go unchecked or you’ll be throwing a tantrum every time an episode of ER gets taped over by Thomas the Tank Engine.

There are several ways of taking control of yourself:

Time Out Room

The use of a Time Out Room (a quiet place away from the rest of the household where you can sit and reflect) has proved effective with three-year-olds. However, we have found it works less well with adults. This is primarily because many mothers seem reluctant to leave their Time Out Room once they’ve put themselves in there.

The Naughty Step

An alternative to the Time Out Room is the Naughty Step. Unlike the Time Out Room, the Naughty Step has the advantage of being a well used thoroughfare and relatively uncomfortable. However, if you are going to banish yourself to the Naughty Step for twenty minutes – taking the Sunday papers with you will completely defeat the object.

Confiscation Cupboard

This is by far the most successful strategy. Every time you throw a tantrum, one of your favourite possessions must be taken away and placed in the Confiscation Cupboard. But again, you have to be firm. If you threaten to confiscate the bottle of Chardonnay chilling in the fridge – you’ve got to go ahead and do it!

If you stick to this regime, your behaviour should gradually improve and by the time your children leave for College, you’ll have become that serene and sensible mother you misguidedly assumed you would be before the midwife uttered the words, ‘Come on, dear, push.’